Wednesday, April 20, 2005

It's All About Market Share, Really

As much grief as the Angels ownership has been getting for their "clever" renaming of the team, I think they're on to something. After all, it is a business. So rather than resist, and make endless jokes at the expense of Art Moreno, I say we join in.

But Arty, apparently not a man of great vision, stopped short. LA is a nice market, but why stop there? I hereby propose that the Seattle Mariners be known hereafter as the... Drum roll please...

Pacific Rim Mariners of Pugeto Soundo

Your first question might be, what's wrong with keeping "Seattle"? Our market research has shown that Pugeto Soundo is much easier to utter in almost any Asian dialect than Seattle (in Japanese, for instance, Seattle is pronounced Shee-at-o-ru).

Just think of all the interest (read: cash) we'll draw by drawing upon this new, expanded fan base. The only shortcoming we have is that we don't have any non-Japanese Asian players with the big club. Well, that and Ichiro! is no longer front page news every day in Japan (just every-other day). And Shiggy wasn't exactly Shiggy with it last year. And Kaz is gone. Clearly, we need to make a few roster moves. We won't be making any announcements in that regard today, but don't be surprised if you see a young Korean pitcher up with the big club real soon now. He can't be any worse than Matt "the human-admission-of-defeat" Thornton, could he?