Gorman Thomas returns

Who remembers 1985?

That season featured Alvin Davis, Phil Bradley, OCD Jim Presley, along with the good Mike Moore, the good Edwin Nunez (how it pains me to type that), and the horrific entire rest of the team. That was an awful season to live through. Gorman Thomas's 32 HR/.215 BAVG were a good portion of the entertainment...although the man knew how to take a walk.

1985 is back.

Bill Bavasi has declared this offseason "over," having opened the vault to left-handed Proven Winner Jarrod Washburn, and we can therefore call the season like we see it: 74 wins, 88 losses, and some pretty atrocious starting pitching to waste King Felix's talent. Sure, it SEEMS like we have more talent (Ichiro!, Beltre, Sexson, Johjima) than the '85 squad, but don't be fooled.

Now, Stormin' Gorman is still around. He's golfing with the likes of Danny Ainge, Oscar de la Hoya, the Ice Man, Dan Quayle, and Dweezil Zappa on the celebrity players tour.

You know, I'd rather see him golf than watch Jurassic Carl bat.

The good thing about those 1985 Mariners was that we fans had few expectations. We had never won ANYTHING. Heck, we'd never even had a winning season. Alvin Davis (or perhaps prissy Mark Langston) was our STAR. Seventy-four and 88 was good enough, as awful as it was.

With low expectations, we were easily amused. Thus, even with lame moves like the one that brought Gorman Thomas to us well after his glory days with the late-70s/early-80s Brew Crew, we fans knew we were going to get entertainment out of a ticket to the game. Carl Everett? Jarrod Washburn?? Pass. The single biggest draw on the team now plays only once every five days.

Somebody get Pollyanna in here, so we can HOPE for the best of all possible Mariner teams--because Bill Bavasi sure isn't going to give it to us.