Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution

Bloomquist, n. (from ME blome, "lump of metal", & quist, cf. Icel. "kvisa" a kind of bird, "kvistra" a branch of a tree)
1) Mysteriously overrated. 2) Pretender. 3) Long-running and misguided Seattle Mariners' fan promotion in which a random kid from Bremerton would be selected to play with the major league team. Accidentally never terminated.

I think it's time to ask seriously what Willie Bloomquist is using to blackmail individuals in the Seattle Mariners organization into keeping on the major league roster and then giving him playing time. I can't think of a position that this "versatile" player plays well other than "bat boy," and there I have my doubts. Center field? Serious? Ichiro!, Randy Winn, Jeremy Reed, and Shin Soo-Choo are ALL on the active roster, and Bloomquist starts in CF?? Again??

He's 27 1/2 years old, and has accumulated two hundred major league games, managing only a limp .660 OPS. His career league-adjusted OPS is 20% BELOW the average major leaguer. He "plays" any number of positions. Plays in this sentence means "stands in the general part of the field that a fielder with his position usually stands, watching the game from an excellent vantage point." I realize that other blogs have piled on Mr. Bloomquist as well, but I cannot contain this rant any longer.

Not a prospect. Not a good player. Not a good defensive replacement. His one and only demonstrated skill is baserunning. This man should, for the league minimum on a championship team needing such a creature, be a pinch runner. Instead, he's taking meaningful playing time away from real major leaguers for YOUR Seattle Mariners.

Seriously, I smell blackmail. Bob Woodward, Carl Bernstein, where are you when we need you?