Somebody get Chuck Armstrong a brain. Any brain.

Armstrong: "...we have the best utility man in all of baseball in Willie Bloomquist." This gem courtesy of the Everett Herald's coverage of FanFest.

Meanwhile, Chuckles McMoron is joined in his slack-jawed drooling in public by co-brainless waste of DNA Howard Lincoln:

"It's important for all of our fans to understand that there's a heightened sense of urgency this season," Lincoln said. "We've just got to get things turned around in '07.

"I'm hopeful that with the additions that we've made, both pitching and hitting, that we'll be able to win the American League West Division. It's an ambitious goal, but it's something that everybody in the organization is focused on."

What kind of high-quality hallucinogens did these two ingest before appearing in public this weekend? Wow. Folks, I think we've found the root of the Mariners' ongoing problems, right at the top of the organization. I mean, why stop with "win the American League West?" If you can make that leap, then why not go straight to "end world hunger, poverty, disease, and conflict?" Princess Willie Power can turn their frowns upside down, right, Pollyanna??

Morons.