Dear Mr. Hernandez,

I am writing to apologize to you. First of all, for missing your last home start, against Chicago, that was a mistake on my part and I'm very sorry. I almost missed last night also, but after getting home and finding out that my wife didn't have to work after all I drove like a madman and paid 60 bucks for two upper deck tickets! I hope that makes up, in some small way, for me missing the other start.

I also apologize for the sorry state of your offense. 3 hits against a 42 year old having, by his own admission, "a disappointing year." The team can't hit, they just can't. They only have two guys in the whole lineup that scare anyone, two more who are reasonably productive and the rest of them are just bleah. Lopez should hit someday, I still have some hopes for Reed and Joe Torre and Jessica Alba's Love Child is way better than anything else we've been getting from catcher this year, but basically over half the lineup at this point is pretty damn sucky. Anyway I apologize for that.

Finally, I apologize for the weird crowd last night. It was the quietest shutout I've ever been too. I don't know if it was because of a lot of Yankee fans or the hunidity or what, but I've never seen a crowd sitting on its hands that much. The only time the stadium got excited was to boo A-Rod. Please don't hold it against us, the atmosphere in your other starts has been way better and I'm sure it will be electric from here on out.

So that's it. I'm sorry I missed the start, I'm sorry that our team is so bad that have only 2 wins to go with your 1.84 ERA, your .84 WHIP and your sick, sick 5 to 1 K/walk ratio. But most of all, I'm sorry that it didn't really seem like we had your back last night at the Safe. It won't happen, again.

Your Pal,

Tad