Thursday, March 30, 2006

Roster Moves

You probably now the details by now: Morse, Dobbs, Nageotte and Appier to T-Town. That means Petagine and Borchard make the club, Bloomquist and Rivera make up the rest of the bench.

5 guys of the 7 man pen are set: Eddie, Putz, Soriano, Sherril, and Mateo. 4 guys, then are left fighting for two spots: Harris, Woods, Gonzalez and Fruto. I'm guessing Woods and Harris, myself, though Harris has not looked good this spring. I don't expect Appier to be willing to pitch in Tacoma for long though, so once he's healthy and stretched out, the M's will need to put him in the pen or cut him loose. It shouldn't matter because the 11th and 12th guys aren't going to get a lot of work.

I really like giving Petagine a shot, and Borchard is a perfect backup for Ibanez. Right handed, a little pop, better defensively. Unfortunately, one of these guys will probably have to go when Lawton finishes his steroid suspension. The guy that should go is Jurassic Carl, but we know that's not going to happen. On the plus side it might be easier to try and sneak Petagine or Borchard through waivers in 10 days than it would be now!


Monday, March 27, 2006

Look at me, I could be....

He lives! I return to post again!

Jeremy Reed has broken his wrist and is out at least 4 weeks, possibly more. This creates a huge hole in centerfield, because the Mariners have exactly zero other centerfielders on the roster. Solutions floated about in the last few days include:

1. Willie Bloomquist, starting centerfielder. Good Lord. How many times do we have to have the Willie Bloomquist fight?? He has his uses as a bench guy, he is a disaster as a starter. He might be able to play a passable centerfield, but he's no whiz out there and with him in the lineup you create the possibility of 2 sub-700 OPS players in the lineup with Betancourt. Add in Lopez' sub 300 OBP and you could be looking at 700 runs again. Yikes. To Hargove's credit, he has downplayed this idea.

2. Joe Borchard, starting centerfielder. I liked the Thornton trade before Reed got hurt, this makes him even more valuable. He should hit for some power, he'll take a walk and as recently as 2003 was a solid centerfielder. All the scouting reports I've seen cast some doubt on whether he can handle center in 2006, though. He's not going to be great, but he might work. Hargrove seems to want to try this for the rest of the spring at any rate.

3. Ichiro, starting centerfielder. This seems like the perfect opportunity to test the waters with Ichiro in center. He has made all the right comments this year about wanting to help the team. You can pitch it to him as a temporary move and it gives the Mariners soooo many more options if he plays center. In addition to the two guys above, you can play Morse, Lawton, probably even Everett in right (or left if Ibanez moves over). Suddenly you have all sorts of combinations you can run out there instead of just droppipng Willie Ballgame into the two-hole.

Plus, Ichiro might be great in centerfield. He's a great rightfielder and he'd be even more valuable if he can play a stud centerfield. And really, is there any real doubt that he would rock in center? I don't think so. This could end up making the M's better in the long run if they play it right.

Of course, chances are they won't.


Sunday, March 26, 2006

New Beginnings, Part IV

We’re heading down the home stretch of Spring, where hope springs eternal until Willie Bloomquist is handed the starting job in center field. Thankfully, I don’t actually have to WATCH this team. Listening is painful enough.

We have previously looked at the offseason moves of the Mariners, as well as the Rangers and the Athletics. Last, but certainly not least, we shall consider the impact of the offseason in SoCal, where the Angels continue to sport a city affiliation that is equally as wrong as calling the Mariners the “Olympia Mariners of Seattle” would be. They also sport the last two division titles in the West, and on that basis should probably be thought of as the team to beat.

Major changes probably were not warranted (all except that owner Arte Moreno probably should have taken out a hit on “umpire” Doug Eddings), but some occurred for the Halos just the same. These changes do not individually seem all that damaging, but the Angels may well be in for a disaster just the same. Have a look:

They won 95 games last season while scoring 761 runs and allowing only 643. Part of that equation was the freakishly good season on the mound by free agent Jarrod Washburn, who cashed in his 3.20 ERA with the Mariners for 38…meeeeelion dollars. Taking Washburn’s place in the Anaheim rotation will be Jeff Weaver, picked up off the scrap heap of the offseason free agent market for a mere $8.325M, 1-year contract, with incentives limiting the deal to be worth less than $9 million overall. Frack.

Meanwhile, backstop Bengie Molina was allowed to leave as a free agent as well, amidst a lot of pouting on his part. His brother Jose, a defensive whiz who doesn’t hit much, will back up rookie Jeff Mathis in 2006. This will be the beginning of a trend over the next few seasons, as the Angels have one of the most powerfully stocked minor league systems in recent memory. The D-Backs and, to some extent, the Dodgers are right up there, but the Angels have a whole truckload of cheap young talent that will replace expensive old talent very soon for Anaheim. This could be a contending team for many, many years.

Otherwise, the only major change for Anaheim over the offseason was the decision to move fragile former Cornhusker punter Darin Erstad from first base (where he doesn’t hit enough to justify being in the field) back to center field (where he’s pretty much guaranteed to break something within a month). This makes room at first base for young Casey Kotchman. Juan Rivera may take over in left for aging Garret Anderson; the one not in the field can DH.

On the whole, a pretty stable offseason. Well, starter Paul Byrd left for Kansas City, to be replaced by young Ervin Santana, but that’s a wash at worst. The results?

Angels fans can hope that the results will include many runs scored, powered in part by an MVP season from Vladimir Guerrero, and in part by the good feelings coming from the Tim Salmon Experience; in numerical representation, this probably means only about 815 runs scored. Meanwhile, the pitching staff is just as effective than in 2005, surrendering a mere 650 runs. This team wins 99 games and wins their third straight AL West crown.

I just don’t see that happening. The problem with relying on sparkling young talent is that rookies don’t always perform up to their eventual potential in their first couple of seasons in the bigs. What the Angels will save in salary obligations as they promote Jeff Mathis, and eventually Brandon Wood, Howie Kendrick, Kendry Morales, and Jered Weaver, they will lose in top-notch current major leaguers. Add to that the fact that the veterans on the team aren’t all that inspiring outside of Vlad the Impaler and closer K-Rod, and you get the worst-case scenario: despite no major injuries, the Angels just perform extremely poorly. They score around 740 runs, while their pitching staff allows about 800 runs to score for their opponents. Quick math shows this team to win only 75 games. Keep in mind that this downside requires no major injuries…if Vlad, or a starting pitcher, gets seriously hurt, then look out below.

There is no real catastrophic scenario for the Angels, though, because if they find themselves in a rebuilding cycle by July, then it’s time to bring up the kids and reload for 2007. Even if they trip this season, they can be prepared for a rapid return to prominence in a matter of a couple of seasons.

What’s that? Oh, I didn’t give you my actual prediction? OK, the Angels fall in between best- and worst-case scenarios, but disappoint their fans by going 82-80. Mike Scioscia is fired in August, but the team is too close to contention to bring up the kids. That is as close to catastrophe as I can imagine for LAAAAA, and I wish it upon them with gusto.


Saturday, March 25, 2006

Transm...can't g...eakin...ck!

Opening Day is just over a week away, and the blog lies dormant in part because of basketball, and in part because of the convergence of WAY too many fantasy baseball drafts.

Nevertheless, we're still here. Really. In fact, last weekend saw 80% of the authors all in one place...which might happen frequently, but not if we're counting me. Saw some excellent NCAA games in Salt Lake City.

Now I'm listening to Ron Flores pitch to Matt Lawton. To make things worse, it's Rick Rizzs and Ron Fairly babbling about windups.

Hmm. Perhaps it's better that I avoid M's spring training games. There's plenty of despair that COUNTS ahead of us. I ought to save my strength.

In any case, the Tatonka list will continue this week, and I'll finish up the New Beginnings series as well, so that we can project the AL West as Opening Day rolls around.

Cheers


Monday, March 20, 2006

Waving the White Flag No More

In the first move this offseason that truly demonstrates their desire to field a winning team, the Seattle Mariners have just concluded a deal that sends the Human Admission of Defeat(TM), a.k.a. "White Flag" (Matt Thornton) to the White Sox for one-time OF prospect Joe Borchard.

Whoo hoo!!!!!


Friday, March 10, 2006

The Tatonka List: 1993

Deeper into the bowels of Mariners history we go...

Actually, the offseason between 1992 and 1993 contained some very hope-inspiring moves for me. I should preface this by saying that I couldn't stand Harold Reynolds. He was one of those guys talked about as a prospect, and who ended up playing WAY too much. Imagine, if you will, the Mariners deciding to play Willie Bloomquist as their everyday second baseman. Now imagine that he has less baserunning ability. And he's not quite as good at defense as Willie. You're zeroing in on Harold Reynolds IN HIS PRIME.

Now, he did have the ONE good season in 1989, but that is only good by comparison to the rest of his career. It produced a .300 batting average and a respectable .359 OBP, but his career-high OBP in that career year was a paltry .728, which wasn't really offset by his fielding liabilities--at best, the man was an average second baseman in the field.

Worse, of course, is something I like to call the Harold Reynolds phenomenon: after concluding his miserable playing career, he would go on to become one of the worst sports broadcasters in the history of humanity, frequently drawing on his supposed "insider" status as a former player, and offering "insights" into what matters on the field and in the clubhouse, without any indication that his brain is working. What a joke.

You might, then, get the idea that the best Mariners move while preparing for 1993 was the 26 October 1992 granting of free agency to Mr. Reynolds.

This could have been a hope-inspiring move, except that the organization had not a soul ready to replace Reynolds. Luckily, it was so easy to replace him that journeyman AAAA player Rich Amaral more than adequately filled his shoes as a 31-year old rookie in Seattle. (This was only after a cardboard cutout of a new superhero, Second Base Man, proved to demand a higher salary than would Amaral. Disclaimer--This part is not true. I have no idea how much money Second Base Man would have wanted.)

So we have to look elsewhere for our Tatonka. Other than Reynolds, the big problem with the 1992 Mariners was 98-fold. As in 98 losses after trading for THE Tatonka the previous offseason. Part of the problem was the bullpen, where absolutely Edwin Nunez-bad "closer" Mike Schooler had bumbled his way to being booed at home lustily EVERY time he entered a game. Dave Fleming was still healthy, young, promising Dave Fleming, while Randy Johnson was the Big Unit, but neither could muster more than 17 wins because the bullpen coughed up quite a number of victories, and Schooler was the personification of all that was bad.

As it turned out, then, the Tatonka move for 1993 would be the trade of the OLD Tatonka (Kevin Mitchell) to the Cincinnati Reds for a NEW Tatonka, Norm Charlton. This happened on the 17th of November, and it was followed by (trumpet fanfare, please) the release of Mike Schooler during Spring Training in 1993. School's out, indeed.

By spring of 1993, then, Seattle had addressed its bullpen problem, and had demonstrated an unwillingness to pay to retain its home-grown veterans who were approaching free-agency. In this particular case, that was a good policy. As a policy, it was stupid, as Woody Woodward would later prove over, and over, and over again.

We shouldn't, by the way, credit the 18-win improvement of the '93 M's entirely to the Sherriff. Others contributed as well, including free agent pickup Chris Bosio. Griffey was only 23, but was already hitting like a star in his prime. That was good, since an exhibition game in Vancouver B.C. just before the season opener saw defending batting champ Edgar Martinez injure his hamstring so badly that he would basically be unable to play that season much at all. Despite this huge loss against just modest player additions was the signing of our first legitimate major-league manager: Lou Piniella. (You're right if you're thinking that I am not too high on Dick Williams. You're wrong if you think I've forgotten him.) We don't give much credit to managers for winning, except when we give them too much credit...but certainly the signing of Lou inspired hope after a litany of no-name cheap managers who couldn't get the job done. I dare say that the Piniella era demonstrates exactly what effect the right manager at the right time can have on a franchise.

Nevertheless, the Sherriff gets the Tatonka. Lou just gets our loyalty and our thanks.

Tatonka List
2006 Kenji Johjima
2005 Adrian Beltre
2004 Eddie Guardado
2003 Randy Winn
2002 Jeff Cirillo
2001 Ichiro!
2000 John Olerud
1999 Jose Mesa
1998 Glenallen Hill
1997 Jeff Fassero
1996 Cerberus, er, Sterling Hitchock+Russ Davis+Paul Sorrento
1995 none
1994 Alex Rodriguez
1993 Norm Charlton
1992 up next (hint: it's the Real Thing, but it's not Coca Cola)


Thursday, March 09, 2006

The Tatonka List: 1994

It is not too late, dear reader, to click on virtually any other blog or internet site to read rather than subject yourself to this entry. You can avoid the pain and suffering of reopening old wounds. For a happier experience, let me recommend Despair.com, or perhaps the ultra-exciting dictionary.com.

If you continue reading, I can promise only misery.

Alright...your loss.

The close of the 1993 season saw the seventeenth straight example of the Mariners status as a low-budget, small market team without any clue how to succeed in that environment. Only three things were certain about the M's. First, the payroll would remain limited, threatening the team's ability to keep any valuable players developed via the farm system. Second, the current players were not adequate to compete seriously for an AL pennant. Third, and this reflected an era only true from 1989 onward, the M's had some serious home-grown young talent. The upcoming 1994 season would be Griffey's age-24 season, while Randy Johnson was still in his prime, only turning 30. We also had the beautiful curveball of Erik Hanson, soon to be 29, and a decent bullpen built around the Sherriff, Norm Charlton. Finally, there was that once-in-a-generation high-school shortstop that the team had just drafted first overall in the summer of 1993, Alex Rodriguez.

Consequently, there was growing hope amongst the fans that Seattle should be able to parlay this nucleus into at least a winning team, if not a contender.

Bumbling idiot Woody Woodward tried to parlay, but all he could get out was parsley. Actually, he may have parlayed too often in the winter between 1993-94. The major errors:

2 November 1993: Traded Erik Hanson to Cincinnati for Dan Wilson and Bobby Ayala.
20 December 1993: Traded Omar Vizquel to Cleveland for Felix Fermin, Reggie Jefferson, and cash

The one good move that the team made in the offseason was to let good guy but horrible major leaguer (and even worse announcer) Dave Valle depart as a free agent.

Looking back, I have to wonder whether Woodward should be ranked up there with Isiah Thomas, Kenny Williams, and Allard Baird as worst GMs ever. In any case, at the time Seattle fans had no idea who either Wilson or Ayala were, but trusted Lou Piniella's judgment of them as potentially useful players (based on his knowledge of the Cincinnati system, his previous job before managing the Mariners). Little O was a player whom the fans had seen blossom from a no-hit, great-fielding shortstop into a decent little player, and trading him to get something (anything) before his free agent year didn't seem like such a bad idea at the time, given the expectations that A-Rod would rise rapidly through the farm system and join number-one-overall pick Ken Griffey, Jr. Of course, given the choice between Vizquel's contract year and a year of Fermin and Jefferson...I'll take don't trade him for $500, Alex.

So once again, we have slim pickings from which to construct a Tatonka.

By the way, it doesn't take no rocket surgeon to figure out that the Hanson deal worked out in the long run; I'm not one of Dan Wilson's biggest fans ever, but he was a league-average catcher and fan favorite for years for the Mariners, so it's hard in hindsight to fault Woody for the deal.

So everything Woodward touched turned to lead, prospects Dave Fleming and Roger Salkeld flamed out due to injury, Dan Wilson "hit" .216, and Reggie Jefferson put up the second-best OPS on the team in limited playing time. After Randy Johnson and Chris Bosio, no Mariner starter had an ERA below VI (I just can't write it in Arabic, which is to say Indian, numerals). Well, that's not strictly true, since Tim Davis started a single game in 1994 and ended the season with a 4.01 ERA, while John Cummings also started 8 games and turned in a spectacular 5.62 mark. You get the picture.

As if that wasn't bad enough, 1994 was the year of THE strike, so not only did the Mariners suck, but so did Major League Baseball.

If you missed the Tatonka in that rant...well, it's true. Not a lot of hope came from any of the offseason moves. We the fans weren't so sure about Ayala, Wilson, Fermin, Jefferson, Eric Anthony (acquired via trade for Mike Felder), Luis Sojo, etc., etc.

Nope, the most buzz regarding a newly-acquired Mariner was already about Alex Rodriguez. That made fans look the other way on the Omar trade. Three times now in Seattle Mariner history, a farmhand has caught the attention of the fans even before he arrived in the majors. A-Rod was, due to the recent success of Griffey and the illusory hope of team success that might come with him, the most eagerly anticipated of the three. Who wouldn't start drooling over the mere idea of Griffey, A-Rod, Randy Johnson, EdGRR, and Bone on the same team?

Thus, contrarian that I am, I name Alex Rodriguez as the 1994 Tatonka. And it just seems to fit.

By your command...

Tatonka List
2006 Kenji Johjima
2005 Adrian Beltre
2004 Eddie Guardado
2003 Randy Winn
2002 Jeff Cirillo
2001 Ichiro!
2000 John Olerud
1999 Jose Mesa
1998 Glenallen Hill
1997 Jeff Fassero
1996 Cerberus, er, Sterling Hitchock+Russ Davis+Paul Sorrento
1995 none
1994 Alex Rodriguez
1993 up next


Wednesday, March 08, 2006

The Tatonka List: 1995

This will be a short post, since the 1995 Tatonka is easy.

No move that the M's made could possibly inspire hope after the 1994 World Series was canceled due to conflict between players and owners.

Not since John McGraw had spitefully refused to allow his NL champ New York Giants to play the American League champions in 1904 had there been no World Series. Otherwise, no problem from contract negotiations to cheating to international economic collapses to global war had stopped the annual pageant called the World Series.

Baseball completely lost casual fans, while the more hardcore fans (which, frankly, were the only sort in Seattle who cared about the Mariners before 1995) were shaken.

It was a year with no Tatonka.

Tatonka List
2006 Kenji Johjima
2005 Adrian Beltre
2004 Eddie Guardado
2003 Randy Winn
2002 Jeff Cirillo
2001 Ichiro!
2000 John Olerud
1999 Jose Mesa
1998 Glenallen Hill
1997 Jeff Fassero
1996 Cerberus, er, Sterling Hitchock+Russ Davis+Paul Sorrento
1995 none
1994 up next


Tuesday, March 07, 2006

The Tatonka List: 1996

Back, back, back, back, back...back in time we go.

I've already mentioned two of the three main candidates to be the 1996 Tatonka. Let us put them in context, and add the third.

Does anyone remember 1995? I was in Nirvana that fall. To be sure, most baseball fans, no matter how devoted, were disgusted at the outcome of the 1994 strike. I was included in that number, and it would be August before I could bring myself to return to the Kingdome. But like many other Seattleites, I just couldn't stay away. Not when the "refuse to lose" Mariners just kept winning games. Not when the Anaheim (yes, Virginia, they USED to name teams after the cities that they played in) Angels followed former Mariner icon Mark Langston straight into the toilet to cough up a 13-game lead down the stretch. The one-game playoff was magic.

In fact, I'm one of those saps who bought the commemorative CD, inscribed with so many gems of Dave Niehaus screaming in delight at yet another Mariner accomplishment. "Get out the rye bread..." sorry, can't finish it, or I'll drown my keyboard.

Anyway, the 1995-96 offseason seemed like THE time to turn the corner from mere division winner to dynasty. The problem was, Woody Woodward hadn't the faintest idea how to make that happen.

Well, the real problem was that Woody Woodward was the GM in the first place. But that's another story.

In any case, there was about as much need for player-acquisition-inspired-hope in the offseason after the magical 1995 as there was for the Mariners owners to offer to pay for Safeco Field's construction. Nevertheless, we fans (both "old" and "new") wanted more. Greed is an ugly thing.

Two-thirds of "more" would arrive in the shape of a young left-handed starting pitcher to pair with the Big Unit, along with a solution to the third base problem. Those two players came to the Mariners in the aforementioned deal that sent Tino Martinez and Jeff Nelson to the Evil Empire in exchange for Sterling Hitchcock and Russ Davis. Believe it or not, Russ Davis inspired a certain amount of optimism at the time, as if he were a prospect.

The other possible Tatonka looked the part the best, although he could have stood to gain a few pounds to really make the comparison work. Paul Sorrento had blossomed into a decent first baseman in Cleveland over the last few years, and Woodward inked him as a free agent on 3 January 1996, to a perfectly reasonable deal paying barely over a million dollars a year for two years. Sorrento was needed due to the aforementioned trade, in which home-grown and kind-of beloved Tino Martinez was the price for bringing in Hitchcock and Davis.

Honestly, it is difficult to pick between the three players to crown the Tatonka of 1996. Davis had finally gotten a cup of coffee with the Yanks in 1995 after years of being blocked by that marginal major leaguer, Wade Boggs, and had hit 276/349/429 in 108 trips to the plate as a 25-year old. He was talked about as a prospect, and for most fans (then as now), one simple anointing with the title prospect is sufficient to inspire hope. Who knew the man would be physically unable to field adequately at third base? Or that his best season in a Mariners uniform would come in 1997, when he hit 271/317/488 (a far cry from what a decent "prospect" should have mustered by age 27)?

I'm actually going off the board here to say that it was this collection of moves (Hitchcock, Davis, AND Sorrento) that collectively counts as Tatonka. It seemed at the time like the whole might add up to more than the sum of the parts. Unless new evidence comes to light in a book by San Francisco journalists, I don't THINK that any of this triumvirate had anything to do with Randy Johnson's injury troubles in 1996, nor with allowing Hitchcock to take the mound every five days despite his season-long suckfest, nor with the unwise choices of alternate starters (Bob Wolcott, 28 starts, 5.73 ERA; Matt Wagner, 14 starts, 6.86 ERA; etc. Heck, 15 players started games for the 1996 Mariners, including five by Rusty Meacham and one by Tim Harikkala!)

It took all three together, though, to inspire Kevin Mitchell-sized hopes. (Or to counterbalance Mitchell on a scale, but that is yet another tangent I'll sidestep.)

One-third of CerberusTatonka did in fact perform adequately, as Paul Sorrento put up the best year of his career in 1996: 289/370/507, astonishingly solid numbers. This complemented Griffey, Bone, EdGRR, and ARod quite nicely, so the 1996 Ms scored almost 1000 runs. Of course, the pitching staff surrendered nearly 900, and the team ended up 85-73, a measly 4.5 games behind the Texas Rangers for the AL West crown.

Still, the magic of 1995 would never go away.

This raises an important point. If you have been even mildly horrified by any of the Tatonkas so far, then I implore you (both of you) to stop reading now. After we cross the time threshold marked "1995," we go straight into a REAL horror film.

You've been warned.

Tatonka List
2006 Kenji Johjima
2005 Adrian Beltre
2004 Eddie Guardado
2003 Randy Winn
2002 Jeff Cirillo
2001 Ichiro!
2000 John Olerud
1999 Jose Mesa
1998 Glenallen Hill
1997 Jeff Fassero
1996 Cerberus, er, Sterling Hitchock+Russ Davis+Paul Sorrento
1995 up next


World Beltre Classic

Yo, Adrian!

It's good to see Adrian Beltre hitting the ball with authority. He looked distinctly unlike most of the times I got to see him last season; more comfortable and confident, but also with the easy power that he exploded with in 2004 to earn so much money.

Here's hoping.

Meanwhile, how about the announcing crew of ESPN demonstrating their absolute unfamiliarity with how fans from Latin America would treat these games? Are they unaware of the phenomenon of that other sport that's sort of popular, futbol (soccer)? I've NEVER been anywhere more electric or exciting than Estadio Azteca last summer for the first division championship game in the Mexican League. But if you watch soccer around the world (pro, world cup, whatever), the fans are absolutely into the game. Everywhere but the US.

There's something here about the role of sport in forming identity, but now we're getting way too serious for a Mariners blog.


Monday, March 06, 2006

New Beginnings, Part III

Alright, we’ve predicted the 2006 paths of the Seattle Mariners (bad) and Texas Rangers (neutral). In the midst of the assembly of the Tatonka list, I want to return to the topic of 2006 AL West projections. Polishing off my crystal ball, we find that next up are the Oakland Athletics.

Changes this offseason for the A’s started off oddly, with manager Ken Macha walking away after he couldn’t come to a satisfactory agreement on a contract extension. Only a few days later, he returned as the A’s manager. Fun.

On the field, Macha will be able to mismanage a mostly solid core group, who have been bolstered by a couple of interesting off-season additions. In the pitching staff, Kirk Saarloos will step aside to make way for Esteban Loaiza in the fifth-starter spot. Saarloos and lefty Joe Kennedy will presumably be the spot starters, to fill in whenever one of the top five is injured. Otherwise, last year’s pitching staff returns, with a full year of Huston Street providing a certain amount of confidence in the bullpen.

Besides adding Loaiza via free agency for a perfectly reasonable $7 million a year for three years, Oakland GM Billy Beane also swung a trade to add a third center fielder to the team. To be sure, all three of these guys can play anywhere in the outfield, so for a while, it seemed as though Oakland was improving their defense considerably. The new addition? Nice guy Milton Bradley, who’s all fun and games—his favorite is the simply titled “Tantrum,” the Monster Slugathon…er, right. In any case, Oakland traded farmhand Andre Ethier at the absolute peak of his value to the Dodgers, and got two (2, or II!!) major leaguers in return—the arbitration-eligible volcano known as Bradley, and Antonio Perez, who could be a serviceable infield utility guy.

Lest the defense become too solid, though, Beane also saw the opportunity to sign ultimate whiny Bitch Sock Frank Thomas to a paltry half-million dollar deal. Thomas, who was once kind of good with that wooden stick thingy, cannot currently run, and even in perfect health he cannot be allowed on the field, at the penalty of several runs per game. Consequently, the A’s are hoping that the man can start at DH, pushing mediocre fielder Nick Swisher back to the outfield, and centerfielder Jay Payton to the bench. That still gives the team two centerfielders in the starting defense, which ought to improve upon last year a bit.

Besides subtracting, then adding Macha, and adding Loaiza, Bradley, Perez, and Thomas, the A’s had a rather quiet offseason. No major pieces of the team departed (although Barry Zito is rapidly approaching free agency, and the A’s are already pleading poverty rather than insult him with a contract extension), and they won 88 games in 2005, so there is great optimism in Oakland.

I submit that there probably shouldn’t be. Oh, it’s virtually a lock that the A’s finish above .500, and therefore above the M’s. But if Zito leaves this year without Oakland getting anything in return, then this is the last year for a while that they will have all the pieces together to make a serious run at losing in the first round of the playoffs. But there’s plenty of room for pessimism.

For instance, did I mention that the starting DH is both surly AND unable to swing a bat in anger? It’s probably a good thing—just think what happens during the first losing streak of the year, in a clubhouse with the Big Hurt and Milton Bradley together? Do you think Ken Macha will be able to prevent the two fiery misanthropes from destroying things? Me neither.

In addition, there are lingering injury issues for important parts of Oakland’s lineup. Eric Chavez, one of those uberprospects turned into above-average MLB player, a species that we love to hate because they “failed” to meet expectations, has experienced lingering shoulder issues, and was supposed to address those in October with shoulder surgery (as he wasn’t busy doing anything else). Instead, he decided to pretend that his shoulder was just fine, and although it still bothers him, at least he didn’t have surgery! Brilliant! (Has the Mariners’ training staff been doing side jobs? “Play through the pain, kid. If it didn’t hurt, everyone would be a Gold Glove third baseman. Suck it up.”)

Meanwhile, young shortstop Bobby Crosby has shoulder issues as well, which doesn’t help him much in his everyday job of THROWING THE BASEBALL ACROSS THE DIAMOND REALLY HARD. Plus, he can’t swing quite as well either. Huh.

Well, at least they have Macha back.

So how will this A’s team do? As usual, best and worst case scenarios:

Worst-case: Chuck Norris wanders into the clubhouse, is challenged by Thomas and/or Bradley, and without any effort whatsoever destroys not only the A’s, but the entire city of Oakland.

Oh, sorry…I’ve been reading that Chuck Norris list that’s all the rage. Really, the worst-case scenario is several major injuries to the pitching staff. Oakland is pretty deep, but eventually will run out of decent arms. Actually, I think that their depth minimizes the non-Chuck Norris inflicted damage here. Meanwhile, every major hitter on the team suffers injury, while offensive black hole Jason Kendall plays every single day.

Result: Thomas can’t play, Chavy and Crosby miss half the season each (or worse, “play through” major injuries and suck). Fewer than 700 runs score for Oakland in 2006, while the decimated pitching staff coughs up, say, 730 runs. That’s right, this is a worst-case scenario: the team is that solid. The downside here is then something in the neighborhood of a 76-86 season. No one will witness this debacle in person, however, since Lewis Wolff will adopt Lorian tactics and start badmouthing his product when the city and county continue to block his attempts to get a free new stadium.

Best-case: Like I said, not much variation here. The best case scenario involves Big Frank staying healthy enough to get 400 plate appearances. It also involves zero suspensions or injuries involving either Thomas or Bradley. A few small injuries can occur, but neither of the guys on the left side of the infield suffers performance decline due to their matched shoulder injuries. Ken Macha learns how to manage. This team, though, has a ceiling of something like 750 runs scored, while giving up only 700 or so. This is an 86-76 team, not good enough most years to win the AL West.

There we go: I can’t believe I’m typing this, but I just don’t see Oakland as a major playoff contender this year. They won’t age and fall off the map like the 2004 Mariners or anything, since the team is mostly young. But I am not foreseeing any breakouts from superstars here. Besides, even with the solid team they had last season, Oakland coughed up the division down the stretch, and they ended up underperforming their Pythagorean projection by 5 full games. Contender or not, the odds that they finish behind the M’s are in the same category as the Chuck Norris bit actually happening. At least Oakland fans can take solace in their team's depth, and youth, and in the fact that their team ought to be comfortably in second place if the Angels should fall apart and allow for another team to pass them.

That is analysis for another day.


The Tatonka List: 1997

The offseason after 1996 was virtually devoid of major additions to the team. We're going to have to stretch a bit, but not too far, to get our Tatonka.

Oh, sure, Woody Woodward re-signed lefthander Jamie Moyer, then a baby-faced 30 years old, after having dealt away no one of consequence (Darren Bragg) to the Red Sox to get Moyer down the stretch in '96. (You may not remember this, but the Mariners used to deal for help down the stretch when they were in the playoff hunt. What with the advent of Stand Pat during the most recent run of good teams, and now the extended suckfest that has been the M's, it's been quite some time since any such deals were made.)

But that signing was not really a new, hope-inspiring addition to the club. We think much more of Moyer in hindsight than people did at the time, because as well as he's performed with the Mariners for a decade now, he's never been a player to get excited about as the cornerstone of the team.

Indeed, the runner-up for the greatest hope at the time was this: 6 December 1996, traded Sterling Hitchcock to the San Diego Padres for someone to be trifled with (Scott Sanders...yeah, me neither). Addition by subtraction.

Hitchcock and Russ Davis were the "prospects" that the Yankees traded to Seattle after 1995 in exchange for Constantino Martinez, Jim Mecir, and Jeff Nelson (he of the questionable facial hair). The lefthander was supposed to be a major-league ready power lefty. Instead, his major accomplishment in front of the 1996 fans was to be the only Mariner pitcher to take every turn in the rotation, starting 35 games and winning 13 despite an ERA of 5.35.

In any case, the other big addition to the as yet undefeated 1997 Mariners team came in an October 29, 1996 trade with the Montreal Expos that brought Jeff Fassero to the team, without losing anyone more important than Chris Widger.

Between subtracting Hitchcock, resigning Moyer, and adding Fassero, a groundswell of hope accompanied the thought that Randy Johnson might be healthy again in 1997 (he only made 8 starts in 1996 due to injury), and the M's would go from a ridiculously bad to a scary good starting rotation. And since the pitching-poor '96 team had won 86 games (and the still-recent 1995 AL West champs inspired plenty of hangover hope), Mariners fans were quite certain that Seattle was going to win. (Picture Tom Hanks, when Geena Davis returned to the Rockford Peaches for the final game. That was us. Really.)

That hope was even kind of justified, given the 90-win, AL West winning campaign that resulted. Sure, we lost in the first round of the playoffs to Baltimore (can anyone remember the last time the Orioles were any good?)--the only time in M's history thus far that the team has qualified for the playoffs but failed to emerge from the Division Series--but the hope of Fassero played evil tricks on the minds of true Mariners fans. Evil tricks.

Evil.

Tatonka List
2006 Kenji Johjima
2005 Adrian Beltre
2004 Eddie Guardado
2003 Randy Winn
2002 Jeff Cirillo
2001 Ichiro!
2000 John Olerud
1999 Jose Mesa
1998 Glenallen Hill
1997 Jeff Fassero
1996 up next


Quick entirely off-topic Rant

Stuart Scott is painfully stupid.

The man is paid only to describe highlights on ESPN's SportsCenter. His entire "talent" is in these clever descriptions.

Thus, one of the fundamental features of his job is to learn how to pronounce names that he's unfamiliar with.

Luckily, he lives in an age when we have this here Internet thingy, so looking up the correct pronunciation of an unfamiliar name (Goethe, for instance--don't get me started) should be pretty easy. Moreover, I suspect that the giant sports network has one or two employees whose job is to check things like pronunciation.

Spokane is just not that difficult, folks. It's spo-kann, not spo-cain. Good Lord.

Rant over. Back to following Spring Training. Boo-yah.


Sunday, March 05, 2006

The Tatonka List: 1998

Remember that old Sesame Street/Little Golden book, The Monster at the End of This Book? That is just exactly what this series is like. I'm sort of an anti-Grover, guiding you firmly toward looking at the monster (who won't turn out to be me, no matter how much my weight might resemble Kevin Mitchell's). The further we go, the more the dread increases.

Entering the 1997-8 offseason, the Seattle Mariners had a nucleus of all three superstars, and came off the franchise's first 90-win season ever, along with the second AL West title in the last three seasons. Did we really NEED a Tatonka, some sort of offseason talent injection designed to inspire hope and season-ticket sales?

Well, the Sherriff rode out of town in November, and no sane person trusted Bobby Ayala with a lead, so it made sense to pick up some bullpen help. Of course, Woody Woodward, then GM of the team, had made those two dreadful trade-deadline deals in 1997 to fix the bullpen, sending away Jason Varitek, Derek Lowe, and Jose Cruz, Jr. to pick up aging Mike Timlin, aging and ineffective Heathcliff Slocumb, and ineffective Paul Spoljaric. Those three, plus Ayala, would log most of the high-leverage innings in 1998...which doomed us in advance.

Having already "fixed" the bullpen (note that the same word was used when we recently took my daughter's pet bunny rabbit into the vet to have an operation), Woodward instead focused on two field positions in need of upgrading: first base, and left field. To fill those, we signed David Segui (meh), and Glenallen Hill.

Hill, a nine-year veteran at that point, had the well-deserved defensive reputation of a very large block of wood, but had at least been an above-average hitter most of his career. Plus, he could stand in left field as well as anywhere else. Voila, we have a "left fielder."

Mount Ves-Lou-vius was with Mariners fans, by the way, in skepticism about Hill's value to the franchise. Despite the absolute void at outfield in the high minors in 1998, Glenallen "rhymes with Hesignated Ditter" Hill so irritated Lou with his outfield "play" that Piniella persuaded the Woodward regime to waive the slugger in early July, just in time for the Cubs to pick him up. Then we got the aging Rich Amaral and a cast of faceless thousands patrolling left field; this group could neither field NOR hit, and the Mariners got worse.

In his defense, it should be pointed out that Glenallen Hill hit the ball just fine as a Seattle Mariner, going 290/332/521 including 12 HR in 259 AB. In context, that was good for an OPS+ of 118. There's no way to calculate, however, how many runs Mr. Hill cost the team in the outfield. Something about fundamental rules of math, dividing by zero and whatnot.

In any case, this Tatonka never really inspired much hope, nor did he perform anywhere near well enough to have justified any hope he might have inspired. (Honestly, is it conceivable that ANYONE really said out loud..."Hey, we signed Glenallen Hill. Yes!!!"?) The flip side of the annual Tatonka parade, and this will be increasingly true as we go back in time, is that every year, former Mariners would do quite well playing for other teams. I wonder, for instance, whatever happened to those guys like Varitek, Lowe, and Cruz? Oh, yeah, they're still playing as solid major leaguers. Oh well, at least none of them won championships or anything elsewhere...what? They did? Crap.

See you tomorrow.

Tatonka List
2006 Kenji Johjima
2005 Adrian Beltre
2004 Eddie Guardado
2003 Randy Winn
2002 Jeff Cirillo
2001 Ichiro!
2000 John Olerud
1999 Jose Mesa
1998 Glenallen Hill
1997 up next


Saturday, March 04, 2006

The Tatonka List: 1999

Back to live action. Entering the 1999 season, Mariners fans had some recovering to do from the painful loss of Randy Johnson. The Big Unit had lived up to his nickname in personality during the '98 campaign, and although the Mariners managed to get young talent back from Houston in their rental of Biggus Dickus, it was unclear just how well twenty-three year old Carlos Guillen and twenty-four year old Freddy Garcia could replace the lost production.

To be sure, anything would be better than the intentional tanking of the early season that constituted RJ's trade-me tantrum. By the way, it's not that the three big stars left the Mariners that was so painful. For each and every one of them, it was their behavior leading up to their departure that angered the fans in Seattle. I have the least rancor toward Pay-Rod, because at least he didn't lie or intentionally play badly, nor did he sabotage any value the Mariners might have gotten from him in trade through his actions. The same cannot be said for either Griffey or RJ.

In any case, M's brass certainly wanted to capitalize on the solid core of the team--EdGRR was still in his prime, and both the good Griffey and the young Alex Rodriguez formed a solid nucleus of hitting talent, while sprightly young Jamie Moyer, barely 36 years old, along with pre-collapse Jeff Fassero seemed like the beginnings of a decent pitching staff.

The big, sucking chest wound on the team seemed to be in the pitching staff, and particularly in the bullpen. (That would still be the case when the season played out, as the Mariners gave the ball to no fewer than XXVIII different pitchers during the '99 season.) Consequently, the only move that could conceivably qualify as a hope-inspiring, Tatonka-like addition to the club came on 13 November 1998, when Joe Table came to town. Mesa had not yet been accused of anything worse than date rape while closing games for the not-exactly-but-in-the-same-neighborhood-as-magnificent Cleveland Indians franchise, so he mostly inspired revulsion on the part of Mariners fans. But there was some hope that he could keep his hands to himself whilst ON the field, and that the power of his goatee would make his age 33-34 seasons, ahhh, good enough to improve the Seattle 'pen.

Interestingly, his salary looks entirely like a bargain now; this tells us just how much the MLB marketplace for Proven Closers has changed. Seattle paid Senor Table less than $7 million total for two years of work.

For half of those years, Mesa didn't even suck. Too much. He saved 33 of the 79 Seattle victories in 1999, and managed to keep his ERA below Jeff Fassero's. Of course, since Fassero completely forgot how to pitch that season, I guess that's not much of a comparison. Did I mention that 1999 pretty much sucked? Except that Freddy Garcia won 17 games with an ERA around 4.00, there was little that inspired positive fan reactions on the pitching staff. Biggus Dickus, by the way, won 17 for the Arizona Diamondbacks to lead them to 100 wins so they could lose in the first round of the playoffs.

Since Mesa, we've tried to slake our thirst for bad boys in Seattle with non-USC attending bigamists (Hi, my name's Al Martin...can I have two of those, please?) and now with alleged child abusers (although in Carl Everett's defense, there's no way he would EVER inflict the greatest atrocity on his own children, since he doesn't even BELIEVE in Barney's existence...). But no one can replace Mesa in our hearts. Oh, sure, Jim Bouton was a bad boy in his own way, but the Pilots don't really count since Bud Selig stole them.

Happily, even a potted plant could outperform Mesa on the mound, so this Tatonka made little impact on the Mariners. Moreover, I don't know of a single person he groped while pitching for us, so that's a double victory.

MCMXCIX, a bad year for the M's, and one of the weakest Tatonkas ever.

Tatonka List
2006 Kenji Johjima
2005 Adrian Beltre
2004 Eddie Guardado
2003 Randy Winn
2002 Jeff Cirillo
2001 Ichiro!
2000 John Olerud
1999 Jose Mesa
1998 up next


Friday, March 03, 2006

Fire Bavasi Now!

Oh Lord.

Sitting here listening to Niehaus interview GM Bill Bavasi during the game, it is evident that the man has gone off the deep end. You know what, Bill? There's no shame in calling a spade a spade.

In response to a question from Dave Niehaus about the current and ridiculous notion that Willie Bloomquist is ONLY not going to start at second base because his versatility makes him "too valuable" to start, Bavasi responded that Bloomquist "has made himself into a good player. If he ended up starting at second base, that would be a good thing for him and a good thing for us." Bavasi ultimately agreed with Niehaus's prompt, and certainly it SOUNDS like he's just trying to cushion Willie's ego.

But...seriously? Do we fear that Bloomquist's psyche is so fragile that telling him he blows chunks as a major league batter that it will destroy his one positive value, the ability to run fast? We already gave him a frackin' two-year contract. What more ego massaging does he require?

Is Bavasi unaware that Willie has a career .308 On Base Percentage? (Or that such a mark is pretty much scraping the bottom end of major leaguers?) The only guys that can get away with that low of an OBP are those who hit the ball extremely hard when they do make contact, but Bloomquist is actually an antonym for power (career SLG of .341, or .CCCXLI...shoot, that even looks pathetic in Roman numerals). Willie is an excellent base stealer and an adequate defender in the middle infield, but he can't hit or walk his way on base. I've said it before, but the sole value of someone like Bloomquist is as a pinch runner who could take the field if necessary. That he's even being talked about as competition for the starting second base job is a clear symptom of insanity.

It's too perfect for insanity, though...it seems that Bavasi's comments were too contrived.

Wait, I've got it! Bill Bavasi is clearly a Cylon.


The Tatonka List: 2000

"...Todd Walker with a two-out double...and it's five to one, Chicago."

That's what I get for firing up the radio feed just now. Sure, Spring scores are meaningless, but there's a certain morbid depression that comes from hearing the team being squashed on the field.

To be sure, there's some sense that the depression came from what was obscured by the ellipsis in that quote of Rick Rizzs. It included Matt Lawton and Willie Bloomquist BOTH being involved in the defensive play. Yikes.

Ouch. Julio Mateo is apparently not in mid-season form today. 6-1 Cubs on a five-run third inning, and they're still batting...ahh, finally, out number three.

Back to the Tatonka List. Last time, we saw the anti-Tatonka, who ushered in the high point of Mariner success even as Pay-Rod rode off into the losing world of the Texas Rangers, fist firmly clenched around his golden contract. Turning the clock back one more year, we find another Seattle superstar packing his bags. 10 February 2000, the Mariners dealt Ken Griffey, Jr. to the Cincinnati Reds for Mike Cameron and several bags full of nothing, the point being accommodating the Kid's demand to be closer to his home. Cincinnati, as we all know, is very close to Griffey's Florida residence, so that end of the trade made sense. At the very least, the deal wasn't about money, since the deal only got done because the M's allowed the Reds to discuss a contract extension for the impending free agent superstar, and he eventually agreed to the 9-year, $116.5 million contract that he's currently not quite proving to be worth in Cincinnati. (This after earlier turning down an 8-year, $148 million contract extension offer from Seattle.) As honorable as it may have been to ONLY sign the richest contract in the history of major league baseball (to that point), it's an understatement to note that Griffey's departure stirred a great deal of negative feelings in Seattle.

With all of the acrimony over the Griffey deal, it is not clear that there WAS a Tatonka in the 1999-2000 offseason. Sure, some important players were added to the team (not only Cameron, but also Kaz Sasaki, John Olerud, and to a lesser extent, Arthur Rhodes), but it wasn't clear that any of these guys could make up for the loss of Griffey, nor that they would be the salvation of a team that had gone 79-83 and 76-85 in the preceding two seasons.

But since I'm making a list, let's nominate hometown boy John Olerud. He promised to fill the gaping wound that for years was first base for the M's. He was extraordinarily likable. He had World Series rings. He played stellar defense. What's not to like? As much as anyone else added that offseason, Olerud brought hope. Sasaki also inspired a certain amount of hope. Both men were signed to contracts between 15-18 December 1999, when the Griffey soap opera was still far from its conclusion.

Olerud more or less delivered as promised (as did Sasaki, and then some). Moreover, Cameron more than adequately replaced Griffey. Like Ichiro! the following season, the moves in this offseason set up the run that was the glorious 2000-03 seasons. Of course, they also created the same team that aged right off the map in 2004. And that's the heart of our analysis of Pat Gillick as a Mariners GM. Either he was brilliant from 2000-01 and then got REAL stupid (hmmm...maybe Stand Pat's brain was on the juice), or else he just quit paying attention, caring, or doing his job after Pay-Rod got away (much more likely). There is a third interpretation, actually...given his performance with Philadelphia so far this offseason, it could be argued that Gillick went insane at some point, but that nobody noticed. Ryan Franklin? Yeesh.

So reluctantly, I dub John Olerud the Tatonka representative for 2000. The list so far:

Tatonka List
2006 Kenji Johjima
2005 Adrian Beltre
2004 Eddie Guardado
2003 Randy Winn
2002 Jeff Cirillo
2001 Ichiro!
2000 John Olerud
1999 up next


Thursday, March 02, 2006

The Tatonka List: 2001

If our last Tatonka was the Second Coming of the real deal, then our next stop will be at sort of an anti-Tatonka. This for two reasons. First of all, despite his many previous baseball achievements, the signing of this Tatonka was not exactly hailed as the salvation of the franchise. Secondly, that it has played out so very well also denies the legacy of the Tatonka label.

Nevertheless, there is no other choice for the 2000-2001 offseason than the 30 November 2000 signing of seven-time NPB batting champ and member of the 1996 champion Orix Blue Wave, Ichiro Suzuki. When I went to Spring Training in Peoria in 2001, I got to see Ichiro! (sans exclamation point, at that time) preparing for the major league season. I was suitably impressed, but everything written about the move was skeptical. (We should note that even if he played the entire Spring as a huge sandbagging effort to disguise his skills with the bat, Ichiro made no attempt to conceal his powerful and accurate arm. It took me some time to pick my jaw up from the floor after watching effortless Ichiro strikes from right field to nail runners at second and third base over and over again.)

The skepticism about Ichiro's value was, of course, quite warranted. No other POSITION player had EVER come to MLB from Japan. Sure, pitchers since Hideo Nomo had experienced major-league success, but it was an open question just how well Ichiro (that offseason I also heard him called "Itchy," by the way) would fare in the bigs.

Something that Ichiro brought to the team that season was magic. As awesome as he was, winning the ROY and MVP all at once despite his definitely non-power oriented batting skills, and as great a defender as he was, the rest of the 2001 team was no pushover, carving up the league and sending 8 (count 'em, eight) Mariners to the All-Star Game, while generally dominating all of baseball. Well, until October, anyway, when the Yankees walked over the M's without much effort at all.

But that's another therapy session. I hate to sully Ichiro!'s good name by putting him on the Tatonka list, but what other candidates were there? Jeff Nelson was brought back to the team...Jay Buhner was resigned (Bone!)...Mike Caruso and Jason Grabowski were claimed off waivers...you get the picture. Ichiro was the one big move of that offseason.

We salute you, Ichiro!

Tatonka List
2006 Kenji Johjima
2005 Adrian Beltre
2004 Eddie Guardado
2003 Randy Winn
2002 Jeff Cirillo
2001 Ichiro!
2000 next up


Wednesday, March 01, 2006

The Tatonka List: 2002

Game on. The Doug Eddings approved World Champion Chicago Luck Sox opened the Cactus League schedule in today's only official Spring Training action, losing 6-1 to the Colorado Rockies. Meanwhile, five other major league teams warmed up for Spring by beating the snot out of various community college and university teams, or in one case a Korean national team.

In the process, the Baby Marlins proved that they could outlast one of the better college teams around, the University of Jimmy Dean Sausage Boot Heads. Barely. They came back to score 3 runs in the bottom of the 9th to slip past Miami 9-8.

While there was no official Mariners game today, we can press on with the Tatonka series anyway. Think back to the offseason before 2002. America was still reeling from 9/11, and baseball promised to restore at least a little normalcy (Warren G. Harding's word...it's funny that he's remembered for that, and not the massive scandals of his presidency...anyway) to life.

For Mariners fans, that meant a repeat of the glorious 2001 campaign that saw our boys win 116 (one hundred and sixteen, or CXVI, if you're more a Roman numerals type) games. We didn't really need to improve upon such a great team, right?

But we had somehow won 116 games with David Bell playing the bulk of the time at third base. If only we could figure out a way to get better at the hot corner, perhaps we could even win some playoff games!

So while still negotiating to resign Bret Boone and some of his 2001 muscles, Stand Pat made a deal that was classic Tatonka. We gave up little of consequence to bring in a National League star to fill that third-base need. The newest Mariner was at his peak, and hadn't hit below .312 in any season since 1997. He was an All-Star, and he wasn't too shabby with the leather, either. Now, he didn't have the traditional power of a corner infielder, but he more than made up for his sub-.500 SLG with on-base percentages hovering around .400. (That's CD, for you Latin fans. This, by the way, is why Romans never played baseball. "Now batting, Number XXIV, Scipio Griffianus. He's hitting .CCLXIV/.CCCXLI/.CDXXXIII on the season...").

Back to the Tatonka. Sure, he might decline a bit in his upcoming seasons as he aged, and he was anchored to an albatross of a contract, but Jeff Cirillo seemed to Mariners fans to be the final piece in the puzzle.

Apparently, what we needed to be thinking was not "piece" and "puzzle" but instead the more macabre "nail" and "coffin." While we shouldn't complain about a 93-win season, it was rather a big letdown after the 116 wins the year before--particularly because the giant sucking sound at third base named Cirillo "led" the Mariners only to a third-place finish in the four-team AL West. The man achieved a career-worst .249 batting average, along with a full 100-point drop in on-base percentage. My crack research team tells me that they have no idea whether that has happened before, but the plight of the M's looked all the worse because over 3.5 million fans came out to the ballpark to watch Bride of Tatonka. Ugh.

You might respond with a cheery, "well, the moves can't all be good, right?" Oh Lord. You must not have been a Mariners fan very long.

See you tomorrow.

Tatonka List
2006 Kenji Johjima
2005 Adrian Beltre
2004 Eddie Guardado
2003 Randy Winn
2002 Jeff Cirillo
2001 next up