Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Bavasi still doesn't get it

I should be happy right? We somehow managed not to give up one of our top prospects for Al Freakin' Reyes. Woo! We didn't find a capable 4th starter either, but that was never really a possibility, soooo, whatever.

But then Bavasi just blew my mind. On KJR, Gastineau asked him if having Adam Jones in the hole didn't make it easier for him not to go after a position player at the deadline.

Billy Boy didn't dodge or dissemble, he revealed his weakness straight out. I'm paraphrasing, but it was basically, we don't trust young players in a pennant race. We want veterans for those spots.

Its not just that he believes that Sexson and Ibanez will turn it around despite mounting evidence to the contrary. He also believes that Adam Jones cannot contribute this season, no matter how good he plays.

Bill, I'd like you to meet Chris Duncan. As a rookie in 2006 he hit 296/363/589 in 90 games for the Cardinals. He hit 22 homers in a little over half a season and made a nice offense/defense platoon in left field with So Taguchi. Oh yeah, the Cardinals won the World Series in 2006.

This guy over here? Bobby Jenks. In 2005 he appeared in 32 games for the White Sox. He struck out 50 in just 39.1 innings, eventually earning the closer job. He saved 2 game in the ALDS and two more in the World Series. Which the White Sox won.

Its not just F-Rod in 2003, Bill! Rookies come up and contribute to playoff teams every year! Lew Ford, Justin Morneau, Chad Qualls, Miguel Cabrera, Dontrelle Willis, on and on and on.

Adam Jones can help this club, right now. He can help them make the playoffs, he can help them in the playoffs. If there is something specific your people see in Jones that tells them he's not ready, fine. But believing that he can't help because he's not a veteran? That's 7 kinds of stupid and it ignores mountains of available evidence.

Of course that's how most decisions get made in the Mariner front office. Ignoring mountains of evidence. Dammit.

Addition by nothing

It's a sad commentary on our management when the general consensus is a collective sigh of relief that Bavasi didn't make yet another bad trade to "bolster" our playoff chances.

Even before Bavasi, our history at the deadline hadn't been good. Heathcliff Slocumb for Lowe and Varitek, anyone? Jose Cruz for Mike Timlin and Paul Spoljaric? The list goes on. Under Bavasi, it's been sort of a weird priority inversion: trades smacking of desperation in the offseason for older, mediocre players making big money, and abject silence during the few playoff runs the team has had under his tenure.

Watching the M's go down 4-0 after two innings tonight, however, underscores the critical need for help with the starting pitching. Weaver has done well in the last 4-5 weeks, but is not to be trusted to continue the streak - as evidenced by the results so far tonight. Ramirez is no better. Even if one can make the argument that Hernandez, Washburn and Batista are adequate, there's substantively nothing afterwards.

Despite that, at least Bavasi didn't give up Jones or Balentien for a $12 million bag of balls. He used up his quota when we acquired Vidro.

Bavasi's Monday to-do list

Beat Angels: Check!

Trade power hitting outfield prospect for old middle reliever to solve a perceived problem that doesn't exist: Dang Braves!

Call Rangers about Gagne: Move to Tuesday's list.

Call up outfield prospect to replace the animatronic version of Raul in left: Hey! Who put that on there!

No Stupid Trades...No Stupid Trades...

I've tried to avert my eyes, but I can't give up hope that this team might start making decisions that I can get behind. I even praised Bavasi for a move that, in retrospect, was just one of those wild rumors that make all kinds of sense but do not actually happen.

Today, then, the trade deadline. (The non-waiver trade deadline.) We're not seriously talking about trading for an OF/hitter (Adam Jones?), or a RHP setup guy (Sean Green, Mark Lowe, even George Sherrill, who's a lefty but gets RHB out just the same), are we? The GIANT, GLARING, NEARLY AS BLINDING AS BAVASI'S BALD PATE weakness on this team is...let me think...STARTING FREAKIN' PITCHING!!!!

So IF we're going to be involved in trade talks as buyers (fine with me), it CAN'T be to waste more minor league talent to bring in players just like those we already have in the organization. It HAS to be built around SP.

Ladies and gentlemen, while I am oh so willing to be persuaded that Bill Bavasi is competent at his job in general, I am terrified of him as GM of my team when trade talks are brewing. Of the 30 GMs in baseball, only a couple are clearly worse than ours at negotiating trades with their counterparts. And Jon Daniels appears to be learning, leaving only Dave Littlefield as competition for worst trader.

So unless you're trading with Littlefield's Pittsburgh for a nice young SP with talent (LHP Tom Gorzelanny? RHP Ian Snell?), don't make any trades at all...because by definition, they'll be stupid trades.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

How to fix the pitching staff: to Morrow!

Thank goodness the "good Felix" appeared last night - just in the nick of time. Ichiro, Vidro, Guillen and Beltre swung the bat well, and the bullpen locked down the win with two scoreless innings as the M's finally broke their seven-game losing streak with a 7-1 triumph.

Even team-killer Jose Guillen sensed the importance of the victory, which snapped a season-long losing streak. "That was a very important win for us", he said. "Guys were starting to panic, saying 'Let's go! We have to get a win'".

Although the offense was largely to blame for the recent cold spell, it has, for the most part, performed well enough to win games. Six of the nine regular position players are batting .269 or above as of this writing, the team is 7th in the A.L. in runs scored, 4th in batting average, 7th on OBP and 8th in OPS. No great shakes, but certainly adequate in most of the major metrics.

Let's turn to the pitching. Here's where the M's rank (A.L. only) in the major pitching categories: 11th in ERA, 11th in strikeouts, 9th in hits allowed, and 10th in WHIP.

With the bullpen having performed so well this year, clearly the starting pitching is the team's Achilles heel. Felix isn't consistent, Washburn is pitching more like a #3, Batista is, well, Batista and Weaver and Ramirez are ticking time bombs. Bavasi is scouring the major leagues as the trade deadline approaches for a big arm to add to the faltering staff, no doubt pondering whether someone like Roy Oswalt is worth Adam Jones. However, there's someone out there whose fastball touches 98 mph who would fit like a glove in the #4 slot, bumping Weaver to #5 and Ramirez to long relief. He's young, readily available and would cost the Mariners the grand total of 0 prospects or major leaguers, since he's already on the roster.

Remember the two scoreless innings of bullpen mop-up duty mentioned above? Hello, Brandon Morrow.

No, his arm isn't quite "ready" for 6-7 inning duty right now. On the other hand, neither is Dustin Moseley's for the Angels, yet with Colon on the DL, that's who will be replacing him in the rotation. Moseley doesn't deserve to walk on the same side of the street as Morrow from a potential perspective. Morrow's got the big arm, has started in college and is already used in 2+ inning stints, as evidenced by last night's game. Send him down to Tacoma for a few weeks to get his arm in shape. It's a complete waste to have him close out a 7-1 game when Green, Reitsma, Sherrill and Lowe are ready and waiting to serve in the set-up role.

Mac, send Morrow down - today - and elevate the others as you see fit to his role. Go with the hot hand if you like, or strictly by the book. Let's not waste Morrow's first-round talent now, especially when the Mariners have so many options at the moment. What they don't have is quality starting pitching beyond their top three, and that's precisely what he'd bring to the table.

Oh, while you're at it, bring Adam Jones up, too. He's the only seasoned prospect of his caliber still languishing in the minors in baseball. But that's another topic for another day.

I will boldly predict that this team will win the AL West if Morrow is made a starter within the next three weeks. The Angels have the upper hand, but are battling starting pitching problems of their own now and don't have the offensive depth we do. If it doesn't happen, and especially if they don't go get someone of Oswalt's caliber on the trade market, they won't. Simple as that.

Get it done.

Friday, July 27, 2007

The essential problem with the M's as an organization

I written about this before. I've called it "management by faith." The Mariners, over and over, make judgments about players based on little more than faith that someone can repeat their best seasons.

Where Billy Beane signs guys after down years or injuries for next to nothing, proverbially taking a flyer and cutting bait when it doesn't work out, Bavasi hands out 5 to 10 million dollar contracts to fading veterans like they were candy and stubbornly hangs on to those veterans until they are literally booed out of town.

Geoff Baker at the Times nails it in regard to this season:

But for too long on this team, too many veterans on this team have been guaranteed at-bats and favored spots in the order without seemingly having to earn them. This isn't about past performance any more. It's about putting the best lineup out there to help make sure a rare playoff shot doesn't slip through your fingers.

Just too many at-bats wasted on Sexson, Ibanez and Vidro. And too many guys allowed to just hit their way through slumps. What ever happened to giving a guy who is struggling a day off? You don't think Kenji needs a day off right now? Lopez? Instead the Mariners have faith. They keep rolling Sexson and Raul out there because they are sure that today, this very game, they are going to start hitting.

And Adam Jones keeps destroying AAA pitching.

And our playoff hopes go down the drain.

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Thursday, July 26, 2007

Finally blew one Cy

Last night as Tad points out JJ blew one. T also mentions the psychological damage done to a team after such a game. What hurts more is the chance JJ had of a Mariner getting a .......(hush now) Cy Young award.

Yes, it is only barely past the midway point in the season, but using ESPN's Cy Young predictor CYP=((5*IP/9)-ER)+(SO/12)+(SV*2.5)+(shutouts)+((W*6)-(L*2))+(victory bonus)), and assume a Save for the night. He would have a 110, second only to Haren of the Athletics.

Now he is 5th.


That one hurt, it really did.

No knock on JJ, everyone blows one sometime, and he's been awesome this year. But last night really hurt. Why?

The M's came back 3 times. 3 times! And finally took the lead.

Adrian Beltre put the team on his back last night. Beltre! That doesn't happen that often. We need to win when he plays like that.

How much better would we feel if we had snapped the losing streak? The difference between a 1-6 trip and a 2-5 isn't that great. But the difference between a 6 game losing streak and a 1 game winning streak? Huge.


Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Stop Standing Still!

Dear Mr. Bavasi:

At the All-star break, there were all these rumors that you were going to bring up Adam Jones or trade for a starter or a reliever. Everyone got excited! You had daily talk show positive news!

But you apparently didn't want to rock the boat. You were on a hot streak and as every Bull Durham Fan knows, you never fuck with a hot streak. So you've done nothing. Well you've done a few things. You guys moved Morrow out of the setup role. Good. Unfortunately, you've left him in the major league pen in a mop-up role, instead of learning how to start in the minors. Bad. You've also put Chris Reitsma into his set-up spot. Bad. You've plugged HoRam back into his rotation spot with the predictable mixed results.

Look, you've lost 5 in a row, but are still only two games out of a playoff spot. You need to make some moves to help this team win! There are lots of things you can do that would cost you nothing!

1. Stop playing Sexson every day. I know that Sexson at his best is better than Broussard, but Broussard right now, is better than Richie right now. He's 7 for 39 (that's .179!) since the break and you guys hav played him every damn day. Not one single day off. Make a platoon if you want. But play Broussard, at first, 3-4 times a week.

2. Stop screwing around with Reitsma and Morrow and make Green and Sherrill your setup men.

3. For the thousandth time! Bring up Adam Jones! Let Ibanez and Vidro have a death match for the DH at bats. This team needs a shot in the arm. Now! You are scoring a little over two runs a game during the losing streak. Jones is hitting 318/384/590 at Tacoma. He can help.

I'd love for you trade for a good starter, but I'm not hearing about a lot of guys out there. But there are 3 moves that would make your team better right now. Do them, Bill! Please.

Your pal,


Sunday, July 22, 2007

Dureza mental, Senor Rey

My apologies if the title of this post isn't idiomatically correct, as I had to use Babelfish to figure it out, but to plainly state what's becoming more and more obvious: Felix Hernandez lacks mental toughness.

Again, I realize I'm not finding the solution to Zeno's Paradox by saying that (a subtle nod to my father there). His arm is golden, his stuff electrifying. Yet after today's six inning, six earned run outing in an 8-0 loss, he now stands at 6-6 on the season. Sounds like a creepy-yet-winning poker hand, not the stats of a major league staff - especially a team that's just two games out of first in their division. His peripherals are, in many respects, worse than Miguel Batista's, who is at best a #3 and at worst a spot starter/long reliever on another club.

Today's game readily illustrated the highs and lows of Felix Hernandez. He threw four innings of two-hit baseball, matching Roy Halladay pitch for pitch as the M's and Jays were in a scoreless duel. In the fifth, he walked Greg Zaun. Royce Clayton bunted back to the mound, but Jose Lopez failed to cover first base, resulting in runners on first and second. After Reed Johnson sacrificed the runners over and Lyle Overbay was intentionally walked, Alex Rios came to the plate. Hernandez worked the count to 1-2 and then delivered a 95 mph fastball seemingly on the black for strike three. The only problem was that Chad Fairchild didn't see it that way and called the pitch a ball. Visibly frustrated, Hernandez stalked around the mound, drawing a visit from Kenji Johjima. After the visit, Rios drove the very next pitch through the left side for a two-run single. After Fairchild ejected McLaren for arguing the previous pitch, Troy Glaus launched the very next pitch out of the yard for a three-run homer.

After four scoreless innings, three key pitches result in a 5-0 deficit.

It's not just the M's that noticed his meltdown: "We really got a sense that Hernandez was staring to get frustrated and some pitches started coming up in the zone,'' Zaun said. ''Those are the times you have to take advantage, when you have the other team's ace out there and he's lost his composure for whatever reason and you're smelling a big inning.''

Felix is still young and has some of the best stuff in the big leagues. But when Miguel Batista is out-performing you, something is clearly amiss. If the Mariners hope to have any chance to overtake the Angels this year, Hernandez is going to have to toughen up. The best players in sports wrest the spotlight and shine. The spotlight, so far, causes our best pitcher to melt like a popsicle on a hot summer's day.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

4-3 Homestand better than it sounds

Definite playoff atmosphere in tonight's 6-5 victory over Baltimore. McLaren was a little slow to go the bullpen in the 7th and Ben Broussard proved again that he really isn't an outfielder to make this game a nailbiter, but any excuse to watch JJ close out a one run game is okay by me.

4-3 seems like only a moderately successful homestand, but if the M's can play .500 against the good teams like the Tigers and take of 2 of 3 from the lesser teams, they should be fine.

We were outscored on the homestand 39 to 32 so 4 wins is a pretty good outcome. Overall the M's have only outscored opponents by 10 runs, 455-445. By those numbers they should be 46-45 right now, instead of 52-39.

But the Mariners have a couple of things going for them that may allow them to continue to outproduce their Pythagorean projection. First, of course is the shutdown bullpen. Three aces in Putz, Sherrill and Green, and the back end is pretty decent too. Also, I think the nature of the M's starters, a bunch of guys, outside of Felix, who rely on the other team to put the ball in play, and good defense to get outs, means that you are going to have your share of disaster starts, where we are out of it early. But if you get a halfway decent start the offense is good enough to win a lot of games. Maybe someday I'll go back and look at teams that beat their Pythags over a season and see what their starting staffs looked like...probably not though.

What's next? A road trip to Toronto and Texas and then home against Oakland and the Angels. Man, that homestand could be sweet. If you are within two or three of Los Angeles...I'm giddy in anticipation.

Friday, July 13, 2007

More Ichiro!

Its official! And the AP is reporting the contract as 5 years/90 Million. That's 18 a year. Even better.

This off-season Barry Zito got 18. Carlos Lee got 17. I think I'll take Ichiro, thank you very much.

Playoff Atmosphere?

Last night's game was great! Tight, competitive, well played. The three weird umpiring incidents just added to the drama (And for the record, Yuni did interfere with Pudge's throw, Guillen may have tagged AB the second swipe and Beltre definitely touched the bag).

But the tight competitive atmosphere was marred by the Mariners treating us to the WORST ANNOUNCER PAIRING OF ALL TIME: Ken Levine and Dave Valle. I understand that they had vacations to work around and then Sims came up sick, but surely they must have a better backup plan than this!

It was excruciating to listen to. I eventually muted it and just listened in silence. Remember the old days when you could turn on the radio and be just a hair behind? Between the satellite and the DVR you are a full two seconds behind now, so that doesn't work.

So to have any sound you had to endure Levine's akward deliveries, poorly timed jokes and Valle's absolute refusal to play along with any of it. The silences after one of Levine's jokes bombed were painful.

Valle, who grew on me a little last season was terrible too. On Sheffield's second steal, Valle said that Felix was paying no attention to him at all. Only Felix had thrown over 4 times at that point. And gone to the plate only twice. If he had thrown over 6 times, would that have qualified as paying attention? 10 times? How many does it take Val?

Anyway, where ever you are Dave Sims, get well soon!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


The Internets are abuzz with rumors that Ichiro has agreed in principle to a 5-year, $100 million dollar extension.

Although quite a few players are earning over 20 million this season, only three players have signed contracts with an average annual of 20 mil or more. A-Rod, Manny and the Rocket. That's it. The big question is, is Ichiro worth that kind of dough? Is he worth the 4th highest contract of all time?

Offensively he is a great player. By Baseball Prospectus' VORP stat, he's currently the 4th best offensive player in the league. He is significantly behind A-Rod and Magglio Ordonez though. The distance between Ichiro and A-Rod is the same as the distance between Ichiro and 21st place on the list. And this is Ichiro's best season since 2001, very likely his best ever. Even in 2001 he was only 36th in VORP, last year he was 40th (VORP compares you to the hitters at your position, so Ichiro gets an advatange being in center as compared to right). So he is a great offensive player for sure, but not really in the class of A-Rod or Manny as a hitter.

Defensively though, he gains a lot of ground. All the defensive stats (except BP's Davenport Translations) love Ichiro's defense. He has excellent instincts, covers an amazing amount of ground and is a great leaper and wall climber. I don't know that I am ready to call him the best outfielder in baseball though. Carlos Beltran, Andruw Jones, Grady Sizemore, Aaron Rowand, lots of pretty good defensive outfielders out there, still Ichiro is at least in the conversation.

Now lets factor in his basestealing ability. Ichiro has never stolen less than 30 bases in a season, he's never finished worse than 5th in the AL in steals and his career stolen base percentage is is 81%. Just a hair under Joe Morgan's career percentage.

Ichiro is also amazingly durable (He's never missed more that 3 games in a season), an absolute joy to watch play every day and a huge draw for the team and the city. I have not been to a game since he's been here that did not have a sizable group of Japanese tourists here to watch him play.

At the beginning of the year I had little hope that he would re-sign here. If he did I was hoping for 5 and 75 maybe, 5 and 85. So yes, 5 and 100 seems high. He'll be 39 at the end of the contract, but raise your hand if you think Ichiro is likely to age well given his stretching, conditioning and dedication. Yes, the contract is a little high, there is no hometown discount in there at all. But paying a little too much for a true superstar is ok by me.

Its a hell of a lot better than blowing 8-10 million for guys with ERAs over 5!

I take it all back....

People make mistakes.

I spend a fair amount of time correcting the mistakes of others in everyday life, with the goal of helping them to improve themselves. It's a big part of my job.

So it's no surprise that I would combine that occupational inclination with my devotion to the Mariners, and criticize those in leadership positions for making mistakes when they make decisions that affect my team. More specifically, I've ridden Bill Bavasi for almost his entire tenure as GM of the M's for what seemed to be very few good decisions surrounded by an inordinate amount of mistakes.

Here's the thing: I'm willing to tolerate mistakes, so long as there is evidence that people LEARN from them, and make better decisions going forward.

In the course of the last couple of weeks, Bill Bavasi's front office has demonstrated that they are learning from past and mistakes. Jason Churchill and the P-I are reporting that Adam Jones is coming up after the break to play every day in LF. Turbo to the bench. Ibanez to DH. Whoo hoo!

This couldn't have happened with Mike Hargrove as manager, and although we may never know what REALLY happened with Grover's exit stage left, it seems just as likely as anything else that Bavasi ushered him out the door in preparation for the dawn of the Adam Jones Era.

Now, I'm still not completely happy. Sure, Felix is looking like he might dominate in the second half, but we've still got a horrible pitching rotation. But it's encouraging that Bavasi seems to have learned from his mistakes, and figured out creative (and, let's face it, humble) ways to fix them (Vidro to the bench is necessary but, given what it cost to acquire him and what we're paying him, it's also an admission of a mistake).


Two and a half games back.

It's the Angels!

I don't want to hear any wildcard talk. I want to see one more demonstration that Bill Bavasi has learned something from past mistakes: let's have a trade in which we give up none of the important future in exchange for a pitcher to improve on that horrible last spot in the pitching rotation.

I can't recall the last season that was so much fun, since the previous three have just ground me down. But this is great, and I'm willing to recant on my Bavasi criticism as a result.


(Oh, and Ichiro! is staying. Ehhhhhxcellent.)

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Ok, this is getting serious.

12 games over .500

3 and 1/2 games out of first place.

A game and a half out of the wild card.

3 of their last 4, 11 of their last 14, 18 of their last 28.

Defying most expectations, the M's are contenders. We are over halfway through the season and we are definitely in it.

So its time to get serious about things. We have two outfielders tearing it up in Tacoma, Adam Jones and Wladimir Balentien. They aren't both going to play next year, so one of them needs to be dealt for a good starter. Not a decent starter, not a gamble, but someone good. If you can get Buehrle for Wlad and one of the kid relievers, you do it.

Next you need to end the Vidro at DH disaster. Yes, the shiny 286 batting average looks good, but there is nothing else there. No walks, no power, no speed, no defense. That's not enough. You have options. You could play Broussard against righties. Hell you could DH Broussard every damn day and be better off.

Even better though, you could bring up Adam Jones, make him your everyday left fielder and push Ibanez to DH. Raul seems really dinged up, letting him DH the rest of the year might get more production out of him, so you potentially could be helping yourself out at two lineup spots. Plus the defensive upgrade would be huge. Maybe Jones can't make the leap, but he seems to have AAA down, so you have to give him a shot. He wouldn't have to play great to improve on Vidro and then you would know what you had for next year.

But next year is next year. Its time to get serious about this year. Right now. Fix the rotation and fix the DH spot, Bill. Its time.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Fire John McLaren!

Just Kidding!

Seriously, I like the lineup he rolled out there on Tuesday, even though they got crushed.

CF Ichiro
1B Vidro
DH Ibanez
RF Guillen
CA Johjima
3B Beltre
SS Betancourt
2B Lopez
LF Bloomquist

Its creative. With a lefty going for KC, he decides not to use Broussard, but instead of just sticking Willie at first like Grover would have done, McLaren uses teh opportunity to move other guys around.

Getting Bloomquist into the outfield is a huge defensive improvement, and if Vidro is passable at first then its a net gain. Plus if Vidro can play the field even a little bit, it might make him easier to trade in the off-season!

This lineup gives me hope that they might bring up Adam Jones and be able to find some at-bats for him. It gives me hope that they can find more at-bats for Broussard without using him so much in the outfield.

Of course we did get absolutely crushed with this lineup, so what the hell do I know?

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Mike Hargrove, quitter

Lets take Mike Hargrove at his word for a moment. He's lost his passion. He's tired of being criticized in the papers. He wants to watch his kid play baseball. He's 57. He doesn't really need the money. He apparently made up his mind somewhere in the middle of 6 game losing streak.

I can't really argue with that. I have often worked with people who obviously did not like their jobs and I wonder why they keep doing it. So why should he?

I also think that in the long run, they are better off without him. Adam Jones needs to be up and playing this year and that wasn't going to happen on Hargrove's watch. Jose Vidro needs to find his way to the bench and that wasn't going to happen while Mike was here either, especially with Vidro "hitting" 295. Hopefully there is less bunting and more Broussard and days off for Richie against tough righties and Putz might pitch in a tie game before extra innings.

But the bottom line is that Hargrove quit. Few teams benefit from in-season managerial changes. I'm sure there are a lot of guys in the locker room wondering what the hell happened. I hope this doesn't torpedo a season that has so far wildly exceeded my expectations.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Ding Dong!

Yes, Boys and Girls, the witch is dead! Mike Hargrove, aka the Human Brain Delay, aka Numbnuts, has resigned as Mariner's manager. In the middle of a 6 game winning streak. Officially, Hargrove says his "passion has begun to fade." I'm calling bullshit.

Tatonka proudly presents the top 10 actual reasons Hargrove decided to leave.

10. Pissed off that the Ichi-roll has replaced hot dogs in clubhouse spread.
9. Wants to leave and come back to get an ovation like that Junior kid.
8. Jealous that John McLaren's parking spot reads Mgr(Soon enough).
7. Fucking Broussard keeps throwing it in his face by, you know, hitting.
6. Recent convert to Flying Spaghetti Monsterism. Leaving to spread the gospel.
5. That Bavasi dude looks just like Jay Buhner! Creepy!
4. Jeff Weaver stubbornly refuses to pass the Dutchie! Its selfish, man!
3. Buhner keeps grabbing his ass.
2. Upset that team shaved off his terrible goatee during clubhouse prank.

And the number one reason Mike Hargrove is really leaving the Mariners:

Entering Rehab. Daughter threatened to post video of him shirtless, drunk and eating a hamburger!

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